Rethinking the way we say things....

As we are going through this adoption process I have been reading lots of blogs from other adoptive mommas -- amazing women who share what they are learning about their Ethiopian children.

One of the blogs I have found is Babe of My Heart. Andrea has three biological children, and brought home their little guy earlier this year.

Today she had a great post about how parenting an adoptive child is different that parenting a biological child because of the effect early life trauma has on a kiddos brain. She highly recommended the book Parenting your Internationally Adopted Child, and gave several concrete examples of how parenting Isaiah is so different than parenting her other three.

This idea of rethinking the way we think is something I have been thinking about. Needless to say, there is lots of thinking going on here! :)

Last night I was thinking about my nephews and taking them shopping. There are times I have taken them shopping and told them we cannot buy something because we cannot afford it. They have grown up hearing those words. While they might be disappointed to hear them, there is no long term effect on them. For the children we bring home those words may have a completely different effect.

It's entirely possible that the children God has planned for us are living with their Ethiopian parents right now. It's entirely possible that those parents are struggling to provide for their children, and are struggling to make a decision about what is best for their children. It's entirely possible that our children will be given up for adoption because their parents cannot afford to take care of them. For my nephews hearing the words "we cannot afford that" means just that -- we don't have enough money to buy that right now. For our children that same comment may be traumatic. It may mean that we cannot afford to continue to care for them and that they will be giving them up the way their Ethiopian parents did.

Like I said, there is LOTS of thinking going on here....